What is to be Done About Justin Bieber?

There are a number of petitions abroad in the land to deport that famous Canadian ham, Justin Bieber back to his native land. As entertaining as the thought is—and it’s damned entertaining—we need some justification before considering such a precipitous course of action.

Has the Bieber flouted, abused, ignored and otherwise given offense to our law, our culture and way of life? In the words of the immortal Bard and part time canine, Scooby Doo, Ruh Row…

Well, has the Bieber partaken of illegal, banned or controlled substances in a wild and reckless manner whilst for instance, operating a motor vehicle at a high rate of speed? Ruh Row…

Well has the Bieber harbored known fugitives from justice or has he himself been a scofflaw on the lamb from inquiries of legitimate law enforcement officials during the legal course of their sworn duties? Ruh Row…

Has the Bieber acted in a manner calculated to suborn and pollute the morals and manners of impressionable youth who look up to his every deed with awe and undeserved respect? Ruh Row…

Well, okay the Bieber has acted in way that demonstrates no redeeming social value but being a “useless eater” is not in and of itself a deportable offense.

And besides, consider what is occurring even now with the 100,000 signature petition to deport the Bieber. The petition is being presented to the white house. And what are the chances that Barack Hussein Obama will attempt to deport a criminal from a foreign country?

It is a fact that neither Obama nor his attorney general nor any member of Obama’s political party seems keen to punish foreign criminals. In fact Obama, his attorney general and every member of Obama’s political party seem particularly keen to reward foreign criminals who entered the country illegally and took jobs illegally by giving them health care, citizenship and even the right to vote while they are still illegal aliens. After all, if a person cannot be asked to prove he is a legal resident before he votes he could be an criminal alien voting illegally. Obama’s reaction to that is to give that illegally voting alien a medal.

Thus we are forced to conclude that Obama will never punish a criminal alien even if the Bieber was declared as such. It is in the vital national interest of every democrat especially Obama to support the criminality of foreigners in the United states whenever possible so as to buy their votes.

So Obama won’t deport Justin Bieber anyway, not matter how many signatures are on a petition.

There is one last hope for Bieber haters and that is that Bieber will voluntarily return to Canada and take Miley Cyrus with him.